


Never Let Me Down, Just Lead Me Home

by fraudulentzodiacs



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:52:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19336768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudulentzodiacs/pseuds/fraudulentzodiacs
Summary: Alex is missing. Michael will find him.





	Never Let Me Down, Just Lead Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> I’m supposed to be working on my RNM Week fics, but this wouldn’t leave me alone. Inspired by [this amazing Bellarke gifset](https://morleybobs.tumblr.com/post/185732346946/for-the-fates-could-never-touch-a-love-like). I hope it’s okay I borrowed this beautiful poem! Set during S2, with Alex disappearing and his return becoming Michael’s sole focus in life.

**Clotho declares “He is gone”  
**

**And he breaks**

 

Alex is gone for two days before anyone notices.

Kyle bursts into the makeshift lab he and Liz have set up in Max’s house, both desperately working to find a way to revive a now pod-bound Max.

“Kyle?” Liz asks in a worried tone, and it’s only then that Michael looks up from the latest test results to see the wild, scared look in the man’s eyes.

“Alex is gone.”

“What do you mean, ‘gone’?” Michael feels his entire body tense at Liz’s question, the worry quickly escalating to panic clear.

“I mean, I hadn’t heard from him in a few days, so I drove out to the cabin to check on him, and he’s not there.”

“It’s not too out of the ordinary for Alex to take off. Not lately, anyway.” Liz replies, and Michael doesn’t need her to look at him to know that he’s the reason why Alex has taken to disappearing. They haven’t been on the best of terms since he began dating Maria - in fact, they hadn’t said more than a handful of words since their last showdown at Michael’s trailer the day Max died. Since then, Alex had distanced himself from their group, which Michael understood despite having to live with the hurt and guilt in his girlfriend’s eyes when Alex flatly refused to speak to her at all.

“No, it’s not.” Kyle agrees. “But when I got to the cabin, the door was busted open, and it looked like there had been a fight. One that Alex apparently lost.”

“Jesse?” Michael pushes away from the table, sidestepping Liz.

“No, he’s still in the coma. This is something else.”

“Aliens?” Liz asks, and Kyle’s shrug sends a jolt of irritation down Michael’s spine.

“It didn’t look like it. Looked human, and it could have been any of Jesse’s Project Shepherd cronies.”

“Flint.” Michael states, and Kyle nods.

“Probably. We haven’t heard anything about him since Caulfield, but Alex was digging around in the hard drives we were able to steal. He told me a few days ago that he was trying to track Flint’s movements, see if he could find another blacksite.”

“Show me everything you have.” Michael uses his telekinesis to pull his jacket from across the room, gesturing to the door.

“I don’t need your help, Guerin.” Kyle argues. “I can find him myself, I just wanted Liz to know.”

“It’s Alex.” Michael replies, his voice like steel. “You’re getting my help whether you like it or not.”

“Wish you had been this concerned for Alex while you were busy breaking his heart and sleeping with his best friend.” Kyle throws back, and Liz slips between them before he can escalate the fight.

“That’s enough.” Liz warns. “We all care about Alex, and we are all going to work together to find him. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Michael deflates. “I’ll meet you outside, just give me a minute to call Isobel.” Liz nods, guiding Kyle out of the lab as the man shoots daggers in Michael’s direction.

Once they’re out of the room, a shaky breath escapes Michael as he leans against the wall, the chaos in his head even worse than usual as he thought of Alex missing - Alex  _gone_ \- with no clue as to where he was or what was happening to him. It was Alex’s deployments all over again, only this time worse, because Michael could do  _something_ about it this time, but he had no idea where to start. Tears burned in his eyes as he struggled to control his breathing, and he could feel Isobel on the edges of his mind as his panic increased, probing and searching and Michael is sure that all she can get from him is  _Alexalexalexalexalexalexalex_. He takes a few more deep breaths before hitting the call button on his cell, Isobel picking up almost immediately.

“Alex is missing. Meet us at the Crashdown.” He manages to get out.

“I’ll be there in ten.” Isobel replies. “Are you okay?”

“I have to be.” Is all Michael replies before hanging up. He can’t afford to break right now.

Alex is depending on him.

**Lachesis pronounces “You will never have him again”**

**And he crumbles**

Michael spends the next five days in the Project Shepherd bunker. The place makes him physically ill, but it’s the best place to be as they search for Alex. Kyle is there outside of any shift he can’t get out of. Liz alternates between the bunker and their lab - Michael loves Max, but he can’t spare any time while Max is relatively safe in the pod and Alex is  _gone_. Maria and Rosa make sure everyone is properly taken care of and that Michael survives on more than energy drinks, acetone, and pure stubbornness. Maria doesn’t question Michael’s determination, but he can’t miss the faraway sad look in her eyes when she thinks he isn’t looking. He can’t worry about that now, though, because he has to bring Alex home. Everything else can wait.

Isobel is a steady presence, seeming to understand instinctively when to be there to support him and when to leave him to his work. It’s the most together she’s been since Max died, and Michael thinks that it has more to do with Isobel feeling needed when it comes to Michael than a desire to find Alex.

Michael loses all sense of time in the bunker, only marking the passing of the days by his visitors changing their clothes. Isobel arrives with coffee and bagels, and manages to pull Michael away from the computers and into a chair at the table long enough for him to give her a decent conversation.

“Have you made any progress?” She asks as she spreads her bagel with cream cheese, watching him closely to make sure he eats his own.

“No. Maybe. It’s hard to tell.” Michael admits, running his hand through his hair. “It feels like we’re always three steps behind them. I think I found the site they were holding him at initially, but the site went dark before we could even think about getting out there.”

“Why do you think they’re holding him? I mean, they haven’t made any demands or anything. What do they want?”

“To keep him quiet. He knows about everything, but he’s against his father and that makes him dangerous.”

“But, Michael, if they want to keep him quiet…” Isobel begins, but Michael gives a cold glare before she can finish.

“Don’t.” He replies, begs, his voice harsh and sharp.

“I know you want to bring him back, Michael, but maybe you can’t track him because there’s nothing  _to_ track.”

“That’s not true. He’s alive, Iz. I know it.”

“Michael…” Michael feels Isobel move her chair closer to his, can feel her on the edges of his mind.

“He has to be alive.” Michael hears the sob in his voice before he feels it escape. “I would feel it, I would  _know_.”

He hasn’t cried, not once, since this whole thing began. He had refused, because - after Max, and now Alex - he’s afraid that if he starts he’ll never stop. Isobel pulls him into her arms and he cries into her neck, her familiar perfume the only thing he can sense with any clarity.

“I  _can’t_ , Iz.” Michael sobs, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably despite Isobel’s attempts to calm him. “I can’t, not now. After Max, I…”

“I know, Michael, I know.” Michael can register the wobbly, wet tone in Isobel’s voice, which just makes him cry harder against her.

He slowly calms in his sister’s arms, though she doesn’t let go of him until his breathing is even and steady once again.

“I have to find him.” He finally says, and Isobel nods.

“And we will. We just have to find Flint first, right?”

“But he’s always ahead of us, always gone…” Michael drifts off, his gaze returning to the computer monitors. “We need someone who knows Flint’s mind, who knows his orders…”

“Michael…” Isobel’s voice is wary. “You can’t…”

“Call Valenti, tell him to wake up Manes.”

 

**Atropos taunts “He is lost to you forever”**

**And he falls**

 

It takes Kyle a full day to get Jesse stable enough to sneak him out of the hospital and into the bunker. Alex has been gone for over a week, and Michael feels like he’s going to crawl out of his own skin as he waits. He knows that Jesse is their best chance at tracking Flint - at finding Alex - but the thought of bringing the person he hates most in the world out of the coma that’s kept them all safe makes him want to be sick. But, he reminds himself, they’re not  _all_ safe, not until Alex is home. Not until Michael can have him in front of him and know that he’s not suffering and dying for trying to protect Michael and his siblings from his own family.

They set Jesse up in one of the small interrogation rooms in the bunker, shackled to an uncomfortable metal chair by his hands and feet despite the fact that Jesse is too weak from months of being bedridden to be any kind of real threat. It’s just him and Valenti in the room with him, Isobel, Maria, Liz, and Rosa waiting in the main room of the bunker.

“Where would Flint take Alex?” Kyle asks evenly, staring hard at Jesse Manes.

“I have no idea.” Jesse replies, his voice lacking any kind of emotion as he stares at the man he shot not six months earlier.

“Wrong answer.” Michael informs him.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been in a coma. How would I know?”

“Because Flint is a good little soldier who always follows Daddy’s orders.” Kyle snaps back. “He wouldn’t do anything as stupid as kidnapping Alex without knowing it’s what you would want. We know he has him, now tell us the locations of the blacksites or how to contact Flint.”

“Why, exactly, would I do that?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll let Isobel in here and have her turn your brain into pudding.” Michael points out, and Jesse scoffs.

“You wouldn’t. You do that, and you’ll never find my degenerate son.”

“You help us get Alex back, and I’ll think about not putting you back under. How about that?” Kyle offers, and Michael can see every muscle in his body tense.

“If Flint has taken Alex, he is gone.” Jesse turns to look at Michael, disgust clear on his features. “He is lost, forever, and good riddance. You’ll never see him again.”

Kyle yells out at him to stop as Michael stands so quickly the chair he was sitting in flies across the room. The chains holding Jesse snap as Michael uses the full force of his powers to pull him away from the chair, pinning him against the wall, his healed hand wrapping itself around Jesse’s neck.

“Tell me where he is, and I won’t snap your neck here and now.” Michael growls, using both his hand and his power to tighten his grip.

“That’s it, prove me right.” Jesse wheezes, his eyes cold as he stares at Michael. “Prove that you’re the monster you’ve always been. Kill me. You and my son deserve each other.”

“ _You’re_  the monster, not me, and not Alex. Alex is good and kind and all we ever did was love each other. But you couldn’t stand that, could you? Couldn’t stand that he wasn’t just like you. That he was better. He’s better than all of us,  _he_ could never kill  _you_. But I could.” 

“Michael!” Maria calls, and Michael pulls away from Jesse, turns to see that the girls have entered the room. He lets his telekinetic hold on Jesse go, the older man slumping to the floor. He turns back to Jesse, coughing as gasping as he stares up at Michael with pure hatred. He crouches down, gesturing over his shoulder at Isobel.

“You don’t want to tell us where Alex is? Maybe you’ll tell Isobel.”

Michael stands and moves to where Isobel is, watching him with wary eyes.

“Do whatever you have to do.” He instructs her before slipping out of the room.

 

**They decree “This time you cannot save him”**

**And he defies them all**

 

Michael leaves Isobel to deal with Jesse, his breathing heavy as he stumbles out of the room, out of the bunker, and into his truck. It’s the first time he’s left the bunker in days, and he’s not sure where he’s going until he’s driven out of town and is pulling up to Alex’s cabin. It looks just like it always has, Liz, Maria, and Rosa having come over and cleaned it up to give them something to do while they searched for Alex. He uses his power to unlock the front door, the house quiet and still, everything in its place. He wanders through slowly, taking in the small pieces of Alex that he finds. It’s tidy, orderly in a way that Michael has to assume comes from years of living with Jesse Manes and then serving in the military. When he enters the bedroom, however, his eyes go straight to the leather jacket resting on the back of a chair, the jacket he’d been wearing when Michael had finally pushed him away, looked away from him and at something easier, less painful.

He cares about Maria - loves her, even. She is everything that is bright and hopeful and new on this godforsaken planet. She makes him feel lighter. He ran his hand over the jacket, feeling the soft material on his fingers, pictures gripping it in his hands while Alex wore it. Pictures it lying across the counter in his trailer, thrown aside haphazardly as Michael surrounds himself in everything Alex the way he had always wanted to whenever he was near. If he hadn’t been so out of his mind that day, if he had fought one more time for them, maybe Alex would still be here. Maybe he could have protected him.

“I thought I’d find you here.” A familiar voice calls out, and Michael turns swiftly to find Maria leaning against the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, and Maria shrugs.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. I figured this was where you were headed.”

“Has Isobel…”

“No, not yet. Apparently, he’s fighting her pretty hard despite the fact that he just got out of the coma.”

“Okay.” Michael murmurs, turning his gaze back to the jacket.

“I don’t know how I ever missed it.”

“Missed what?” Michael asks, and he hears Maria sigh. When he looks at her again, tears are bright in her eyes.

“You love him.”

“You knew that.” Michael points out.

“Yeah, but I thought that it was over. But it isn’t, is it? It never has been. It’ll never really be over between you two.”

“Maria…” Michael begins, and Maria interrupts him with a raised hand.

“I’m not going to say it’s okay, because you used me, and Alex was my best friend. We both made a mistake. But, that’s not a conversation we need to have today You have to know, though, that it’s over between us.”

“I’m sorry.” Michael tries, collapsing onto Alex’s bed, his head in his hands. He feels the mattress sink next to him as Maria sits.

“I know.” She replies. “I’m worried about you though. What if this doesn’t work? What if you can’t save him?”

“I will, I have to.”

“Michael, what if he’s already gone?”

“Have you been talking to Isobel?” Michael snaps, his tone harsh.

“She has a point, Michael.”

“No, she doesn’t, because Alex  _isn’t dead_. He’s not, you’re all wrong, and I’m going to save him. I’m going to fix this.”

 

**So the shears break against his thread**

**And he vows, “Watch me do it anyway”**

 

Alex has lost track of the days.

He knows that he’s been moved several times, presumably from one blacksite to another. But they stagger his meals, keep him in darkness, making it impossible for him to know where he is or how long he’s been there. It feels like it’s been months, though he knows that it hasn’t. They’ve taken his prosthetic, making it impossible to do little more than hobble from one end of his cell to the other. Flint shows up every now and then - usually when he’s about to be moved. He doesn’t say anything beyond ordering him around, and Alex stopped asking questions when he realized that he wouldn’t be getting any answers. The fact that he’s alive, however, has convinced him that they need him for something. He assumes that he’s meant to be bait for Michael and Isobel, a way to get the aliens they’re hunting to expose themselves. Alex prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that Michael doesn’t take the bait, but he knows Michael well enough to know that will never happen. Michael will come for him. Alex knows that in his bones. It’s what keeps him going, because Michael has always been what keeps him going. Despite the pain, and the bullshit, and the military, and Maria, Alex’s faith in Michael is something that never wavers.

He sleeps in fits and spurts, uncomfortable on the metal bed and thin mattress he’s been provided. They never question him, never torture him, and the endless silence has him crawling the walls. He can fight an enemy, an interrogator, but he can’t fight loneliness. He’s been trained to withstand all sorts of interrogation techniques, forms of torture, but this is difficult, the waiting. Perhaps that’s the point, he thinks. Their ultimate goal will be to drive Alex crazy in solitary. Then, Flint doesn’t get his hands dirty with his own brother’s blood. He doesn’t see his father, which gives him some measure of comfort. It means he’s most likely still in the coma that Kyle put him in, locked away in his own body and unable to hurt any of them. But Flint is still obviously following his orders, including holding the son he hates prisoner.

He’s pulled from his thoughts by a distant crash, the sound of bullets. He pulls himself up and leans against the wall, his ears straining for any other sounds. It gets closer, then there’s silence until the door to his cell begins to shake. The wall groans until the door flies off the hinges, revealing Michael, his hand in mid-air. Alex feels a shaky breath escape him with a short laugh.

“About time you got here.”

“Alex.” Michael’s voice is rough and heavy with emotion as he rushes in. He pulls Alex into his arms, his face in Alex’s neck as Alex’s arms go around him instinctively, gripping his waist tightly.

“I’m here.” Alex soothes, rubbing his hands up Michael’s back. “I’m okay.” He feels Michael drag his face up his neck, then his jaw before burying his nose in Alex’s hair.

“I love you.” He whispers harshly, and Alex grips Michael tighter.

“I know.” He replies as he pulls Michael against him.

“As heartwarming as this is, we really need to get out of here.” Isobel’s voice calls from the doorway.

“They have my prosthetic.”

“On it!” Liz replies, slipping past Isobel with his prosthetic above her head like a trophy.

“I’ve got it.” Michael responds, taking his leg as Liz helps him onto the bed. He attaches it with a familiarity that makes Alex’s heart stutter in his chest. It feels strange to be wearing it again after days without it, but he and Michael follow Isobel and Liz out of the cell and through the winding hallways of whatever underground facility they’re in. Kyle and Rosa are waiting in what looks to be the main entrance, both guarding an unconscious Flint.

“What do we do with him?” Rosa asks, and Michael looks to him.

“Leave him.” Alex decides.

“He kidnapped you!” Michael argues. 

“And he’ll pay for that, but not today.”

“Let’s get out of here before more of their friends show up.” Kyle orders, and soon enough Alex is seeing daylight for the first time in however long. Maria is waiting behind the wheel of his Humvee, looking almost unrecognizable in her stolen Air Force uniform.

“How…?” Alex asks as they move to the vehicle.

“Isobel may have visited your father, forced him to admit some truths.” Michael replies, helping Alex into the backseat before Maria peels away from the blacksite. “I’m sorry it took so long.”

“I knew you’d come for me.” Alex leans into Michael, exhaustion overtaking him.

“Always.” is the last thing he hears from Michael before he passes out.

 

**For the fates could never touch a love like theirs**


End file.
